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stress

10 Aug

Hi, everyone!

I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted in quite a while. No BB Posts, either, because I simply have not been watching at all :c I will catch up soon, though! school is done for the summer so it will be time to catch up on all of the things that I need to do.

But today’s Post is about stress. a certain kind of stress? the kind that likes to swallow you whole and wants you to rip out your stomach.

I think that I’ve been sad lately. not just lately, but for a long while. I’ll try to explain best as I can in a thing that starts with a p. a pleube? that thing that holds place of something to not reveal? Am I making any sense.

so there is a ball of yarn and a pair of knitting needles.

this ball of yarn is all wrapped up; quite secure of life and has never experienced really anything at all.

this pair of knitting needles comes along; has had a bit of practice knitting before. has some experience (plenty more than the ball of yarn).

so the knitting needles approach and unravel this ball of yarn, little by little. at first, it’s a little rough for the yarn to used to. but it is excited and enthused, and allows the unravelling. once the introductions have occurred, the between creates repetition. it ties the yarn up; twists it and untwists it. it makes the yarn churn. the needles poke and prod and can really hurt this ball of yarn. but no matter how many times these needles pull on the yarn and causes it to fray, the yarn holds on because it believes that the needles will make it into something beautiful; something worthwhile. and it’s true. the needles have the capability to make it wonderful. but it can also make it ugly. the needles have all the power whileas the yarn just goes along because it thinks better of the needles. the needles could care less; it just has a job to do. to fix? to create? to make better? to make the yarn more interesting than just a ball, so circular but untouched? the yarn does not want to be this weak. but she keeps falling anyway, an endless spool that is unwavering to his touch. 

That’s how I feel. I feel like someone is taking my insides and pulling on it. this feeling is the worst! how do I cope? I’d like to tell someone, but I don’t know how to bring it up. perhaps I should seek out a counsellor; a psychiatrist. the person I want to tell it to the most I can’t get it out. i really can’t. and it kills me inside. i fear i will shrink into a ball and hide away inside a compartment if i keep this inside of me.

thank goodness for music. i think my lyric-writing has improved!  i really hope. no-one has heard my songs; not really. it would be nice to be able to share and talk of my songs one day who will care to listen.

 

on the brightside, there’s a guy at work that makes me feel more me/ I probably shouldn’t think much of it, but he’s so genuine and kind to everyone. the world needs more him

“i’m only tan when you smile.” <– translate please!!

  • mongoose– Louise
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BB18 – Episode 1

23 Jun

editing

BB17 – Episode 37 [SPOILERS]

15 Sep

Hello!

Julie calling everyone to the living room to sit on the side chairs only, not the eviction chairs. She bears news of a surprise eviction episode.

Day 87

Steve is going to pee, is upset that Vanessa siding with the showmance

John going to do everything it takes to win, not to going to walk out without giving everything he’s got

Vanessa’s main target is John, she knows that he will be taken to Final three over her

Steve and Vanessa hugs, Vanessa tells him that he’s her friend, he says she’s good, doesn’t need to worry

Steve doesn’t understand why she’s crying, hope it isn’t a play to make him feel bad for her

Vanessa said it was what she believed in, says he won’t go home this week, followed gut

John says he would consider throwing the Veto to the showmance to show that he trusts them, says like Final three with them

Austin thins that John has lost his marbles or has become one with Judas

Austin tells Vanessa that John will throw the Veto, she’s like WHAT

Commercial

HG’s get to see Life in Pieces

Liz would watch it; says her family is very dysfunctional

The VETO is in the background literally in a backyard

You must piece Life in Pieces puzzle together before twenty seconds because it is magnetized

Vanessa is eliminated

John’s strategy is to build the whole puzzle in the box then doesn’t need to focus on hitting timer, John should just win the Veto… don’t rely on the showmance but now John thinking of throwing it

John going to finish the thing seeing that Steve is closing in fast

JOHN WINS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

I think Steve might go home 😦

Austin needs to talk to Vanessa to see what she thinks now, to put up

Commercial

John is happy that he has the Veto! Steve says it was close

Vanessa is stressing in DR and in the HoH, crying, is mad

Austin says to John “good job”

Austin saying he or him could control the votes, or he and Liz

Steve in storage room, saying that Vanessa should cry her eyes out, thinks that she should have put up the showmance instead of them and it wouldn’t have happened, Steve thinks that Vanessa would keep him over Liz

Austin and Vanessa talking, she says she does not want to send out Steve this week

Veto Meeting

John uses Veto to save himself (trying something different, usually he doesn’t lol)

Vanessa puts Austin on block, says Liz was on block last week

Austin okay with the nom, but he knows that Vanessa is a good gameplayer

Vanessa talking with John, saying his strategy is one of a kind, Vanessa asks if they will be the dumbest people if they do not take out the showmance, John says yes lol, Vanessa says final three is locked in if they keep Steve, she says she wants to work with John

John wants to keep Austin to piss off Vanessa… but why…

Judas loves the madman in John that wants to take the showmance to final three

Now John please don’t do that if you want a chance don’t please…

Commercial

Voting

Liz – Steve

John – PLEASE MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION he evicts Austin THANK-YOU

Vanessa votes in the event of a tie, evicts AUSTIN

Liz is shocked, so is Austin, Austin says she won’t win the Jury votes

Austin leaves pissed, not wearing shoes

Liz is crying, and so is Vanessa…

First time with Austin on the block, evicted

Austin says that she saw the chance to take out him, but thought final two was locked, she chose to Judas Judas, he thought he was going to win the game, Austin fell in love with Liz

Commercial

HoH Comp

“What the Bleep”

Determine what is the word bleeped

Score: 1-1-1 for John, Liz, Steve in that order

2-2-2

2-2-3

Lol this bleep could be taken very dirty-mindedly

3-3-4

“TRUTH IS I ——- A LOT OF FRIENDS” LOL I CANNOT MEG

4-3-4

“I GET BORED AND I GOTTA —- TO KEEP MYSELF OCCUPIED – LOL JAMES

4-3-4

5-3-5

Tie-breaker between John and Steve

In seconds, how long was under the rainbow comp to when Vanessa hit button to win HoH

Steve – 601 NOPE 701 NOPE 601

John- 3600

Answer 2825 SECONDS, STEVE WON

Steve forgot a 0 LOL HE WAS GOING TO SAY 6000 INSTEAD OF 600

Commercial

Brendon and Rachel join Julie live tomorrow!

Liz is in bed

Thanks!

Thanks for the 3374 HITS

  • Louise

BB17 – Episode 35 [SPOILERS]

10 Sep

Hello,

Vanessa truly adores the girls, but says it was better strategically for them to be on the block. survived seven evictions

John doesn’t feel bad, Steve wants to throw up

Liz never fathomed that one of them would be leaving, Liz saying it’s her sister’s time to shine, she wants her sister to stay, but Julia says she deserves to stay

Liz would fight to stay if Austin was next to her, would leave with integrity and say nothing bad about twin, no money is worth their relationship

Vanessa can’t believe her and John are still here, says Liz can beat her, John wants Julia to stay, Steve wants Liz to stay, Vanessa is the swing vote

Liz asks Austin if he trusts Vanessa, he says he thinks so, he says that she thinks that everyone is taking her to final two, Julia walks in, they have an epiphany, Liz would not take her to the final two, Julia wants Liz to stay, at peace with her decision, Liz 100% dead set on staying

Austin telling Vanessa about plan to keep Liz, Vanessa saying not an easy decision

Vanessa saying that she could keep Liz if she can go to final four with them, if nom’s stay, it’s her call to keep who to stay whether John or Steve, and then final three will be taken to final two, but Liz doesn’t plan to keep the agreement but nods head

Steve plans to get a tat outside of house of Mom, Vanessa giving pros of keeping Julia to Steve: more likely to win HoH, getting rid of someone can’t beat in finals, theoretically… con of keeping Julia, anyone can bring her to final three, seems scary to leave Liz in the game

Commercial

have been in house for 85 days

John says friends and family are thinking wow he is really stupid and messing everything up

there are tapes from home! getting to watch on screen

John’s immediate family

Austin’s siblings are so cute with CUTE PUPPIES

Vanessa’s girlfriend

Twins parents wow look like their Mom

Steve’s Mom !

Steve is crying aww

Commercial

JURY

Shelli is so proud of John for making it so far

Meg was a social threat in the house, watching tape from Meg weeks

Meg can’t even if James walks in

James walked in and scared them all lol

going to continue to aggravate her for more days now

watching James’s tape

Shelli thinks Vanessa’s deserves final two, but still rooting for Steve and John

Voting

Austin votes Julia

Vanessa – Julia nono not the right move

John – JU LIIII A

Commercial

Liz crying that Julia left

Julia confident that sister will make it to final two, thought Austin would go out if she challenged him, thoughts on Austin, is a great guy, supports relationship, is a great guy for him

John is sad that couldn’t evict both sisters… but have fun in Jury!

Steve will stay in the touch

Liz loves her so much

Austin sorry couldn’t protect sisters, hope to see her at Christmas dinner with family, can see him as being a future brother-in-law? “that’s a bit of a long shot”

Commercial

HoH Comp

“Under the Rainbow”

get ten eggs in the holder to be HoH, Luxury prize, too, will be a trip outside of house, will be played until both are won

Steve is dressed as a leprechaun

Commercial

Tuesday will have a special eviction episode, since Football is coming, schedule changes for rest of season. Wednesday has another eviction.

Thanks !

Thanks for 3340 HITS !

  • Louise

BB17 – Episode 34 [SPOILERS]

9 Sep

Hello,

Liz is disappointed that she has to be in this position with her boyfriend

Austin says that he is ensured safety and now has to choose between the girl and the glory

Steve going to play a more outward character in the house to make big moves for the Jury to see

Liz didn’t think that Steve would betray them

Liz says it’s really hard to depend on Julia, for the Veto, says would never do it to him, but is now war

Steve hates hurting people, avoids confrontation, Austin thinks that he’s good for not being on the block until now

Julia thinks that if Austin won the Veto, then Vanessa could go up, they want to throw the comp for Julia for her to win it and so the twins can vote to keep him safe

Veto Comp

It’s Bowlerina that broke up McCranda in BB15

Mr Pectacular is back… Austin says he’s 5’ tall and has no layers no pecs because twins are drooling over Jesse

Spin fifteen times and bowl

Liz challenges Steve

Steve falls off the floor lol

Liz wins match

Vanessa telling Julia to pick Austin, John thinks that if it happens, he will think she is genius, Austin asks Liz if Julia will challenge John, she says “yes”, Austin thinks that there is a conspiracy going on and thinks he is the target now because Julia just picked Austin

Commercial

Liz doesn’t know why Julia picked Austin, Vanessa telling Liz that it’s a smart play, she says that if Austin wins, it is the worst case scenario, Liz doesn’t think that it was julia’s best choice, Austin thinks that he’s being played, Julia shouldn’t have picked him she thinks now, Austin thinks that he has been betrayed

Liz doesn’t know who to root for

Austin wins the round

Steve asks Julia why she picked Austin, but works out for Steve

John challenges Liz, thinks it’s better for his game for her to leave

John spun slower for balls to count

Wow John got them all out on the first fifteen seconds

Vanessa challenges Austin, Austin feels betrayed again, he sees nothing but red, going to destroy Vanessa

John says Austin is an enraged gorilla crawling on his hands and knees lol

Austin wins

John verses Austin

John going to let Austin win

Judas is here, Austin isn’t here anymore, Jesse is uncomfortable

Liz not a fan of his reaction

Jesse rips open his shirt

Commercial

Liz cannot believe that Julia did it, Austin knew that it was Vanessa when Julia told her that she was told it, Julia does not know if was played, Vanessa saying that it is not Austin’s incentive to play the game with the both of them, he would not have thrown it if it came down to it, Vanessa swears on her Mom, girlfriend, that she wasn’t playing them, Steve walks in, “not now, Steve”, Vanessa saying why would he ever throw the comp, he could never win the final three with them, she was told by Austin that he was more thinking of himself, okay with one of the twins leaving, Julia wondering why he didn’t throw it to him, Vanessa says ideally he wants Julia out,, Vanessa says she has never trusted him, Julia won’t campaign over sister

Commercial

Liz asks Austin if he has been hiding stuff from her, he asks if that is what Vanessa has said to him, Liz asks if there’s something she doesn’t know, Liz is over it, going to leave the game with integrity, Austin admits that he wants to look out for his game

Lix tells Vanessa and Julia that she has learned a lot, is no Clay, and he is really selfish, Julia says doesn’t trust him, Liz doesn’t want to talk to him ever again

Steve and John talking, John tells how Vanessa told Julia to go against Austin, knows peole are arguing in the game, Steve doesn’t want to sit next to her in the final two

\Steve says John should wear his robe sometime, “bucko”, “yeah, next week”

Austin says it was a tough situation, did not want to be a pawn for girlfriend, he wants to save himself and save everyone or walk out of game like Clay “But no-one respects that”….

Vanessa nd Austin talking, Vanessa saying if he threw it to Julia, Julia would win, thought it was a huge attack to her, Austin apologize, he is frustrated, he’s going to play nice with her right now, still staying loyal to her, not telling anything to Liz, Austin thinks that he is the agent putting them up against each ther, Vanessa says that could not use the Veto, laughs, Austin says it ain’t happenin’

Liz says she wants to be with her sister, Austin tells her that he did not want to hurt her, Liz feels that his reaction proved everything to her, says their thing will not end right now, Liz doesn’t know what to believe, Austin says he loves her, says has done everything he could to save them, Liz says ahas won mre HoH’s, Liz doesn’t need him anymore, it might be the end for them, Austin says he ruined his life with hi, he left his girlfriend officially for her, Austin cannot believe this, Liz tells him to walk away, Austin doesn’t know what to say if she doesn’t believe the moments were real

“Get the —- out of here” – Liz

Julia asks if he is going to wear the Veto all day, and Julia thinks that he’s going to rub it all in

Julia moves his stuff over and throws it across the room, “I’m Judas”, puts on the hat, Julia hates him, thinks he’s disgusting, says he is “ugly”, “without the pony-tail beard he’s kinda cute” – Liz

Commercial

Liz apologizes, Austin says things were confusing, Austin meant that he took a big risk, wasn’t a ruin, kiss and make up

Judas uses the Veto on himself, Steve puts Julia up

Julia thinks that her sister deserves it more

Thanks!

Thanks for the 3335 HITS

  • Louise

BB17 – Episode 26 [SPOILERS]

20 Aug

Hello,

Liz says she wants someone else to take out Vanessa

Vanessa s relieved, said Becky should go home instead before more threatened

Becky said Liz is terrified to take out a target

Liz and Austin thought that Becky’s speech was awkward

Becky and John are hanging out, Becky thinks that Austin and Liz don’t like her

John is going for the dead-fish strategy to just lay there on the table and not do anything

James and Meg are getting married, are in-love, he’s important for her sanity lol

“your lipstick looks luscious” – James to Meg lol Liz or Julia told him to say that

he thinks that Meg has a crush on him

James is pranking, scaring people, he is saran-wrapping clothes together to a have-not chair to STEVE’S?

Steve goes to his bed and doesn’t see his basket, and sees it’s saran-wrapped to the bed hee

James felt a little bad, but he loved it and gonna keep doing it lol

James – “I had to keep the freshness in!”

John asking Steve what position they’re in in the game, they need some protection, they should buddy up in a group, Steve thinks John has an opnion, Steve would go with James and Meg and John thinks twins and Austin, thinks the twins and Austin would be less of a threat to join than James and Meg

Liz and Julia saying that she wants to work with him, they want to take out Vanessa? they have confirmed the craziness of Vanessa, so an alliance is being formed

John wants to put Vanessa on the block

Becky saying James and Meg would probably like her to stay, she wants to know where Austin and Julia are at, everyone knows her target, it’s not even a question

Commercial

Austin planned a snap for everyone to do when Julie appears

lol James pranking Liz or Julia?

James appears under the table LOL

James in the bed and scares one of the twins lol, Julia

they replay Meg’s head bounce on the comp aww

Steve missing his family so much, talking to his Mom once a day

Steve telling his Mo not to worry, health is doing good

his Mom has been watching S1, started violin, then piano, then trombone

spent a lot of time with studies

he missed the big picture, he knows who is listening

there is a STEVE MOSES DAY

Gouvenour? has big support for him, more cow then people

Mom is happy and thrilled

Commercial

CAPTAIN CAMO

Shelli in Jury house, would be happy to see Vanessa to walk through the door, believes that she was the reason for the demise, sees Jackie walk through the door, and finds out Steve evicted her “NO WAY”

Jackie thinks that someone was in her ear, Jackie wants to get of Vanessa if she gets back in the game

Shelli says Vanessa will keep doing it, Jackie knows whole house wants to get rid of her

John says Becky does amazing fruit bowl decorations, cleans, does nails, highlights, but really wants to stay lol

Voting

Steve – Becky

Vanessa – Becky

Meg – Becky

Austin – Becky “even though her breakfast is made with real fruit”

Julia – Becky

James – Becky

Commercial

Becky evicted

Becky didn’t even pretend to give her the time of day for a deal lol  (Vanessa)

Becky thinks Steve has some tricks up his slevve

John really sad, losing number one ally to take thing to the end

Liz thought of her as a big competitor, good luck in Jury

Steve loved her gameplay, wishes best of luck

Vanessa said is a wonderful person but game level pitted against each other, not sorry to see her go

Becky thinks she can play well, might want to work with Vanessa, or Liz? if get back in game

Commercial

zingbotofficial

ZINGBOTOFFICIAL

A RESTRAINING ORDER TO DANIELLE

AMANDA DON’T WORRY YOU CAN VISIT MCCRAE JUST MAIL TO YOURSELF USING YOUR GIANT TRA– STAMP A MISTAKE

FRANKIE SPENDING TIME IN SISTER’S SHADOW

CODY YOU’RE NICE A GUY, HAVEN’T MADE ANY ENEMIES EXCEPT FOR CHRISTINE’S COUSIN? WHAT WHAT

ahh the Zingbot

Commercial

HoH Comp

“Ready Set Whoa”

track meet, hit buzzer the fastest I WANT TO DO THIS COMP will be decoy words that rhyme with GO

six races

Meg buzzed in last, eliminated

Commercial

During the next elimination, Jurors get to compete to get back in game

THANKS,

3211 HITS THANK-YAH

  • LOUISE

d

BB17 – Episode 15 [SPOILERS]

26 Jul

Hi !

Day 36

Jackie wants to prove that she’s not a pawn, but a queen

Vanessa thinks she’ll be a target because she put up Jeff two weeks ago (?)

Clay is glad that it isn’t girls vrs. guys, feel like they are being squished beneath heels, James thinks a guy will go home this week

Austin talking to Liz about how Jason knows about the twins

switch #13 ; Liz was like “Austin almost kissed me” Julia’s like “ew”

Austin goes to Jason and confirms the twin twist, tells them their name, “it has a name, its name is Julia”, Jason is like, how is this good for your game telling me this ?

thinking of taking Liz to top and Julia to jury

Jason lying in bed with Meg and telling her that the twist is official, that Austin wants to take out Julia

Meg and Jason telling Shelli the other twin’s names, Shelli is like “shut up”, now Shelli is like “that was our little secret”

Vanessa enters, tells her about the twin twist, not okay with him selling out their alliance

Shelli telling Clay in HoH room that Austin told Jason about the twin twist

Shelli wants to tell the twins about Austin telling, Vanessa wondering if alliance will be “blown up”

Vanessa and Jackie giving word to not back-door each other

Jackie decides to put up Liz because she put her up last week, also thinking Steve

Jackie wants to stay HoH, Vanessa has no problem

Commercial

HoH room

there are pictures of Jackie and her brother, James saw love at first sight at Vanessa’s Mom

Austin admits to the twin twist, says Jason says he doesn’t want to target them yet, Vanessa knows he isn’t giving all the details, and sold out Julia, not Jason, telling him to not lie, he agrees, doesn’t want to be yelled at

James telling Vanessa that his Mom is gorgeous, she says “too bad she’s married”

Vanessa telling Austin not to tell Jackie that he and her are working together

Vanessa thinks he’s playing an emotional game now

Vanessa and Julia are now in the HoH room now, Julia says Liz probably doesn’t like Austin, Vanessa tells her about the Austin telling Jason and how Jason told her

“she’s doesn’t even like you, so, ha, joke’s on you” – Julia, blood is boiling, she loathes him

Commercial

Vanessa and Clay and Shelli talking in HoH room, Vanessa telling them about her thoughts about Austin (?), in DR calls Austin and Liz “Liztin” and Shelli and Clay “Clelli”, Vanessa moving to Clelli side at Austin’s expense

Jackie wants to put up Austin or Liz, wants to put up Liz for sure, Clay said he’ll go up beside Becky

Jackie talking with Becky, Becky agrees only because Clay will show up on winning side

Vanessa tells Meg and Jason and James, Vanessa says Austin is a backdoor target, Jason gets the concept, Vanessa says that James put up Jackie before, Jackie agrees and James okay with it

They want to be called the Dark Moon ( Vanessa, Jason, James, Meg, Jackie ), Vanessa loves it wants to get a tattoo of it

Commercial

Vanessa telling Austin that Liz will go up, probably with Steve, then tells him her plan, says it’s suspicious that Clay hasn’t gone up so has to put him up, Austin thinks that they’ll win though

Jackie puts up James and Liz

Vanessa puts up Clay and Becky

Austin says he will trust in Vanessa’s plan

Becky – “John, congratulations – I’m happy for you”

John – “Do I just sit here?”

Vanessa tells Julia that she wants to make it to the end with her

Julia chooses to not tell Liz that Austin sold her out, tells her that this is a good week for her because Austin will fight for her

Commercial

BoB Comp, the picture wall had the guests from last season !

they have to throw paint on walls to unscramble names from BB HG’s, letters will show up and even on clothing

the winning team will receive an award !

in a BB newsroom

Liz says she has to be the brains in the comp

the comp was close, James and Liz won !

the three winners will get an Outback steakhouse meal

Thank-yah !

Thank-yah for the 2373 HITS